So often when we talk about writers, we talk about their physical spaces as being crucial to what and how they write. But it seems to me that “place” where writers write is more of an internal construct than an external construct. This idea was validated for me when I read psychologist and creativity coach Eric Maisel’s terrific book, A Writer’s Space, which I reviewed here.
In our space, he says, “Like a surgeon, your goal is to focus. You want to muster your resources and canalize your energy.”
Canalize. Is that the perfect word or what?
He also says, that we are not merely seeking “a quiet room” but also “mental health.” In other words, we are seeking that sane inner space as well as the calm external space before we even start to write. And in my experience these are both prerequisites for successful productivity.
I know that I write better without interruption (although ironically I am being interrupted as I type this sentence by my daughter who wants me to come and see her latest acrobatic trick). This is why I typically get up early to write when the house is as quiet and still as it gets (with the exception of the cats, who are typically pretty active at this time).
I also like to write when the house is empty. When Jason and Samantha are at school, for example. Or in the summer mornings, if they have gone over to the high school so Jason can work at his desk there.
I know that I am a morning person. I know that I do my best and most productive writing in the morning. When all else fails. When I have to write in the afternoon or evening, I try and remove myself to the most quiet spot in the house like the basement or out on the patio under the Redwood tree. Whatever it takes.
A lot of the movies that depict mom writers portray them running away from their life circumstances. This was the case with the film “Motherhood” (2009) with Uma Thurman.
Chaotic as home life can sometimes be when you have a family, I don’t relate to this depiction of the frustrated would-be mom writer fleeing her life because my most productive years as a writer have come since motherhood, not before.
I think the premise that makes writing and life all work together under one roof for us is that everyone in the family has creative work that is important to him or her and it is the job of each person in the family, which operates as a team ideally, to support the goals and dreams of each of the other members of the family.
I suppose this requires a lot of understanding and flexibility on all of our parts, but it has also become so habitual that it feels completely natural at this point.
So if Samantha needs help mastering her bridge back-bend, we support her in that.
If Jason needs help working on his play prep for “Les Mis,” we support him in that.
And if mommy (that’s me) needs time and space to write her book, they support me, too.
There is no room for keeping up with the Jones(es) around here. We could care less what the Jones family is doing. We are not in competition with them. Nor do we wish to be like any other family other than our own.
Though, naturally, we wish them the best of luck with all of their creative projects. š
How do you balance writing time and the needs of your family?
Does everyone under your roof get to have and pursue their dreams?
How does this uphold their desire for self-expression?
And is your family happier as a result of family members supporting family members?
I look forward to your insights. š
