My iPhone is plugged in and charging in the kitchen as I type this blog post on my laptop in the sunroom when the phone starts to ring.
Am I going to get up and go get it?
Nope.
Because I’ve got something to say and you can bet that as soon as I pick up that phone and say, Hello?, I will lose my train of thought.
The phone is ringing again. This person is persistent. They clearly think I should answer the phone.
Am I giving in?
No.
By the way, my daughter is with my husband right now. His call has a special ring, so I would know if he was calling. And, naturally, I would answer.
Ditto if my daughter was at school, and I hadn’t programmed a special ring from the school (I haven’t yet), and the phone rang, I would immediately get off my duff and go check the phone to make sure it wasn’t an emergency call regarding her.
That’s just how working moms are. We have our priorities. They are not negotiable.
Everyone else can wait. At least when I’m focused on my work and there is nothing else so critical as to merit my immediate attention.
Writing takes concentration. Administrating my career also takes focus. Maintaining my schedule of what I choose to freely give also takes considerable time and energy. Why would I give my time, my most valuable resource, away to others?
If you are having trouble with focus, let me run down a quick list of things for you of things that can probably wait:
- E-mail reading and responses can wait.
- Social networking, including all of the usual suspects, can wait.
- Paperwork can wait.
- Chatting with girlfriends can wait.
- Planning your family trip to Disney or your business trip to New York can wait.
- Perhaps blogging can and should wait. (For me, today, it could not wait. Other days, it certainly can.)
- Sales calls coming in not only can wait, those people can be put on a do not call list.
- Anyone who thinks you just sit home and play on your computer all day can definitely wait (and needs to be gently reminded that you are a working professional with a daily work schedule and deadlines).
- People who want to create drama can not only wait, but you should put them on special rings that make doom and gloom sounds because that’s the impact they are going to have on your career.
Basically, if you are a working writer, the only people you should allow into your workday are those who respect you and your time.
You will recognize them because they will either come right out and ask, “Is this a good time to talk?” or they will send you non-urgent e-mails that you can reply to when it’s convenient for you. Certainly, they will never take it personally or feel rebuffed if or when you say, “Sorry, I’m busy. I can’t talk/tweet/meet right now.”
And, naturally, there are plenty of situations you cannot ignore. You will decide what they are and respond to them more spontaneously.
Part of being a grown-up is not getting thrown off your game by someone else dictating when and how you should be available to them.
I was a late bloomer when it came to becoming a grown-up. I have since witnessed sixteen-year-olds who are so good at managing their time that I am in awe of their self-respect.
I would like to be in awe of your self-respect too. I would like you to be available when you wish to be available and not available when you’d really rather not be. And please don’t feel like you have to apologize for your lack of availability.
It’s not up to me how much time you spend with your arms wide open. It’s up to you.
Capitalize on your ability to choose when you are available and when you are not available. It’s the only way you’ll get your work done. It’s the only way to succeed in the long run as a creative.
