My iPhone is plugged in and charging in the kitchen as I type this blog post on my laptop in the sunroom when the phone starts to ring.
Am I going to get up and go get it?
Nope.
Because I’ve got something to say and you can bet that as soon as I pick up that phone and say, Hello?, I will lose my train of thought.
The phone is ringing again. This person is persistent. They clearly think I should answer the phone.
Am I giving in?
No.
By the way, my daughter is with my husband right now. His call has a special ring, so I would know if he was calling. And, naturally, I would answer.
Ditto if my daughter was at school, and I hadn’t programmed a special ring from the school (I haven’t yet), and the phone rang, I would immediately get off my duff and go check the phone to make sure it wasn’t an emergency call regarding her.
That’s just how working moms are. We have our priorities. They are not negotiable.
Everyone else can wait. At least when I’m focused on my work and there is nothing else so critical as to merit my immediate attention.
Writing takes concentration. Administrating my career also takes focus. Maintaining my schedule of what I choose to freely give also takes considerable time and energy. Why would I give my time, my most valuable resource, away to others?
If you are having trouble with focus, let me run down a quick list of things for you of things that can probably wait:
- E-mail reading and responses can wait.
- Social networking, including all of the usual suspects, can wait.
- Paperwork can wait.
- Chatting with girlfriends can wait.
- Planning your family trip to Disney or your business trip to New York can wait.
- Perhaps blogging can and should wait. (For me, today, it could not wait. Other days, it certainly can.)
- Sales calls coming in not only can wait, those people can be put on a do not call list.
- Anyone who thinks you just sit home and play on your computer all day can definitely wait (and needs to be gently reminded that you are a working professional with a daily work schedule and deadlines).
- People who want to create drama can not only wait, but you should put them on special rings that make doom and gloom sounds because that’s the impact they are going to have on your career.
Basically, if you are a working writer, the only people you should allow into your workday are those who respect you and your time.
You will recognize them because they will either come right out and ask, “Is this a good time to talk?” or they will send you non-urgent e-mails that you can reply to when it’s convenient for you. Certainly, they will never take it personally or feel rebuffed if or when you say, “Sorry, I’m busy. I can’t talk/tweet/meet right now.”
And, naturally, there are plenty of situations you cannot ignore. You will decide what they are and respond to them more spontaneously.
Part of being a grown-up is not getting thrown off your game by someone else dictating when and how you should be available to them.
I was a late bloomer when it came to becoming a grown-up. I have since witnessed sixteen-year-olds who are so good at managing their time that I am in awe of their self-respect.
I would like to be in awe of your self-respect too. I would like you to be available when you wish to be available and not available when you’d really rather not be. And please don’t feel like you have to apologize for your lack of availability.
It’s not up to me how much time you spend with your arms wide open. It’s up to you.
Capitalize on your ability to choose when you are available and when you are not available. It’s the only way you’ll get your work done. It’s the only way to succeed in the long run as a creative.
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Fantastic post, Christine! This has been on my radar, as well. One of my tricks is to set my emails to manual, so I only get new batches in when I choose to bring them in and focus my time there. Otherwise, I'd get distracted too easily.
I just pulled myself out of a wonderful writing group because of this time-management question. I am doing a babysitting swap with my neighbor every Friday for three hours so I could attend this group every other week. I would get one hour of writing in during the group, plus two minutes of feedback. I'd also get a lovely time connecting with these women over lunch. But really, on closer examination, this was a luxury I couldn't afford. My time would be much better spent writing or working my business for those three hours at home. I appreciated these women, but I appreciate my close girlfriends more, and I'd rather save my precious social time for them. It was a big realization for me.
I think your drama ringtone idea is fantastic and smart. By design, I no longer have friends who warrant that special ringtone, but if folks haven't yet weaned themselves off of energy drainers, or if those people happen to be relatives who are harder to shake, it's such a great idea!
Cheers!
Alexis
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. FANTASTIC!
Gotta go meet a deadline but love, love love this Alexis and Christina!
This is very helpful. I am currently homeschooling my 8 yr old, 14, and 17 yr old (who are following 5 who have already graduated) so I'm really feeling on the home-stretch. I have more time than ever. Yet, I have never thought to carve out a part of the day that is for working on writing. I have 3 book ideas so it's not like I'm just doing a hobby or something.
My family is priority, but it's been very normal for me to have my arms wide open to everyone. I'm at a place in my life now where I have some time to devote to my writing career. Time to revamp some things (ie; time management)! Thanks for your help!
Kathy
It's a very rare occasion that I'm inclined to comment on a blog. However, this particular posting was fantastic. Timely, and really hit the nail on the head. Thanks for the inspiration and the strength to commit the one thing I desperately need (ie time) to my writing.
I needed to read this today. I have been feeling pulled in many different directions lately and I'm having a terrible time focusing. I need to be more adamant about my writing time.
Thank you so much for this post, Cristina.
I loved the line about a 'doom and gloom' ring for my phone! I wish I could do that to my land line- that's where all the 'doom' comes from- but I just had to laugh when I read that! Thanks for the great tips!
Thank you. I work from home, and it seems most of my friends are like yours — they think if I'm home, I'm looking for something to do. And by the way, I found your blog while I was working — your site is listed in the Christian Writers Market Guide, and I was updating the resource section. Keep on telling it like it is.
I was badly in need of this timely reminder. Thank you. Of course, now I need to get off this page and get back to work!!
I don't know if it's irony or just plain predictable, but this post reached me when I was at work, procrastinating what I really needed to do. I used it as a reminder to turn off the computer and get my work done so I could go home. With so many different commitments, distractions are the biggest productivity killer in my life.
This is a very helpful reminder to ignore the interruptions and focus on what matters.
For me, the timing of interruptions makes a big difference. If I'm interrupted by the handyman after I've gotten my head into my writing, I can still get back into it.
But if he interrupts when I'm just getting started writing, I lose a lot of time.
So the trick is to get my head into my writing ASAP!
Best wishes,
Jennifer
Great article! Sadly, I came across it right after I checked email and Facebook and did a little dreaming about my upcoming trip to Alaska. In the midst of that I hung up on a telephone salesman. Then went to a friend's website to see photos of her baby. Then went to her blog, where I found the link to this post.
Maybe I'll do better tomorrow?
What an amazing concept! How has this not occurred to me before? I also like the babysitting swap idea posted by a few others. My kids are pretty little so if I'm home they come to me first for help with anything(which is a lot at 6yrs, 3yrs, and 18 mo.) I definitely needed to be knocked on the head with the idea that it's okay to not answer the phone in most cases. Considering how easily distracted I am even the smallest interruption really throws me off. Thanks.
I agree, Judy. Excellent response, Alexis. 🙂
You are so welcome, Kathy. Thanks for responding! 🙂
Thanks, Sonia. I took some of my frustrations and channeled them into it. 🙂
You're welcome, Cynthia. 🙂
I have some old land line phones that do do it! 🙂
Thanks, Donna. Yes, this is something I talk about in Writer Mama quite a bit. 🙂
Agreed. 😉
The computer can be a big time suck if we let it, there's no doubt about that, Aliza. It happens to the best of us!
I hear you. I dislike interruptions especially in the morning when it's my best writing time.
Again, this is the reality for so many of us. You have my permission to say no to all of it, except the people in your care, of course. 😉
You are very welcome. Thanks for the great comments, everyone! Sorry I was so slow to respond. I was rather consumed with working hard on the e-book for a while there. But I'm happy to say that I focused and got it launched. 🙂