I have a chapter in my new book, The Writer’s Workout, on permission marketing. It’s chapter 198 and it’s called, “Get Permission.”
I also discuss permission marketing in chapter 217, “Safeguard Your Rolodex.”
The other day, a gal I vaguely know popped on over to my page and posted her book promotion with a message to me to tell all my friends about it.
Now, this happens once in a while. Here’s how I usually deal with it: first I delete the post and then I unfriend the person.
I don’t take it personally, I just feel like my wall is my space and other people should not be treating it like it’s theirs.
But I didn’t do that this time. I’ve bought this person’s annual ebook a couple times, so instead, I just let her know I didn’t like it.
Bad idea. I should have stuck with my first policy.
She let me know in no uncertain terms that it was my fault she had posted on my wall because I had not turned my wall off.
I was like, You’re kidding me, right?
It got worse. I said I disagreed. She said these were the Facebook rules and anyone who had been online as long as she had knows what all the rules are.
I said what did I know, it’s not like I’m a expert on the topic or anything.
She let me know that everyone knows that book publication doesn’t make anyone an expert on anything.
At that point, I just gave up. She clearly didn’t care about our relationship—and I should have realized that from the moment she posted her promotional materials on my wall.
Which brings me back to my original policy, which is, if you post your stuff on my wall, I will quietly take it down and then unfriend you.
It’s not personal, it’s just my space, my rules, and a place where I treat people with respect and expect to be treated with respect.
When someone comes along with a different agenda, they kind of stand out.
I know I don’t have to DO anything. I can just let people do what people do.
But it’s my space. I’ll decide what I can live with and what is just annoying. I’ll also decide whose work I recommend and whose work I won’t recommend.
Do you think I will be recommending her work?
I don’t think so.
So much of recommendations are determined by whether or not people use good permission marketing or not.
If you have a copy of The Writer’s Workout, please read chapter 198 and then pick up a copy of Seth Godin’s book, Permission Marketing. I don’t enjoy kicking people out of my space. And I really don’t want it to happen again.
A lot of people have not read Seth’s work. They don’t understand basic permission marketing concepts, and if they are going to write and sell books, they really should.
You do, right?
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That’s the second time today Seth Godin has come up in my world … guess I better check that out 🙂 I am cringing a bit only because when Matt started his business I did email friends on FB to ask for help spreading the word but I’m pretty sure it was private emails and not on anyone’s wall … will be double checking. I think it’s a shame she acted like that because I personally would want to know if I did something you (or anyone) thought was disrespectful so I could see how others perceive what I do. Okay, off to check old emails 🙂
Bravo for protecting your space!
This seems like common sense to me… I think we must all set our policies for our walls. And, I think we need to respect other people’s space. I look at it this way. I wouldn’t go to my neighbor’s house, or even my best friend’s house, and post a promotional item in their front window, so why would I do it on someone else’s wall? But that’s just the way I think…
I think I kind of gently said something back then. And you got it, if I remember. I mean, sometimes we just make a mistake. That doesn’t make us bad people. But if I say something to someone and they basically tell me to piss off because I don’t know what I’m talking about, now I know they were always just interested in using me in the first place. You would never do that Nathalie. Not in a million years. Nor would most.
Thanks, Robin. I think is especially a pertinent issue for women…at least I know it has taken me a long time to get clear on what I can and can’t feel comfortable about.
I think that makes perfect sense, Tammy. I have definitely used the same sort of metaphors. For example, if someone asks you to dinner, you would not leave with their silverware or chairs just because you could. And yet, some people will…and do.
This brings to mind Kohlberg’s six stages of morality. There’s no forcing some people from one stage to another. So glad you stood up for yourself!
I have a similar policy for my Facebook page, Christina. I have unfriended a few authors who were pushing their wares via my wall.
Seth Godin’s Permission Marketing is a must-read for anyone who’s building a platform online
Okay, I’m not the only one who’s annoyed when people post on my wall! Thanks for this reminder about permission.
Helpful tutorial though as a marketing student I must say this. You don’t need say sorry please I really love to learn anything about marketing. Thanks.
Yeah, we’ll learn and we’ll use, thanks for sharing 😉
Interesting post.
Thanks.
Manners are always in season.
Actually,I was looking forward to such a info.