Welcome to the final day of the 2013 giveaway! I am so pleased to welcome Jennie Shortridge, who is generously sharing her complete body of fiction with one lucky winner. Jenny is on tour now for her latest novel, Love Water Memory, but she took a few moments to share with us what self-expression means to her. Please help me welcome, Jennie!
Introducing Jennie Shortridge
Jennie Shortridge has published five novels: Love Water Memory, When She Flew, Love and Biology at the Center of the Universe, Eating Heaven, and Riding with the Queen. When not writing, teaching writing workshops, or volunteering with kids, Jennie stays busy as a founding member of Seattle7Writers, a collective of Northwest authors devoted both to raising funds for community literacy projects and to raising awareness of Northwest literature. Learn more about Jennie at http://www.jennieshortridge.com.
Learn about Love, Water, Memory from Gallery Books, April 2, 2013
A bittersweet masterpiece filled with longing and hope, Jennie Shortridge’s emotional novel explores the raw, tender complexities of relationships and personal identity.
Who is Lucie Walker? Even Lucie herself can’t answer that question after she comes to, confused and up to her knees in the chilly San Francisco Bay. Back home in Seattle, she adjusts to life with amnesia, growing unsettled by the clues she finds to the selfish, carefully guarded person she used to be. Will she ever fall in love with her handsome, kindhearted fiancé, Grady? Can he devote himself to the vulnerable, easygoing Lucie 2.0, who is so unlike her controlling former self? When Lucie learns that Grady has been hiding some very painful secrets that could change the course of their relationship, she musters the courage to search for the shocking, long-repressed childhood memories that will finally set her free.
Learn about When She Flew from NAL Trade 2009
Police officer Jessica Villareal has always played by the book and tried to do the right thing. But now, she finds herself approaching midlife divorced, estranged from her daughter, alone, and unhappy. And she’s wondering if she ever made a right choice in her life.
But then Jess discovers a girl and her father living off the radar in the Oregon woods, avoiding the comforts—and curses—of modern life. Her colleagues on the force are determined to uproot and separate them, but Jess knows the damage of losing those you love. She recognizes her chance to make a difference by doing something she’s never dared. Because even though she’s used to playing by the rules, there are times when they need to be broken…
Learn about Love and Biology At The Center Of The Universe from NAL Trade 2008
Upon learning that her college sweetheart husband has been seeing another woman, Mira Serafino’s once perfect world is shattered and she wants no one, least of all her big Italian family, to know. She takes off—with no destination and little money—heading north until her car breaks down in Seattle. There she takes a job at the offbeat Coffee Shop at the Center of the Universe, where she’ll experience a terrifying but invigorating freedom, and meet someone she’ll come to love: the new Mira.
Learn about Eating Heaven from NAL Trade 2005
Nothing gets Eleanor Samuels’s heart racing like a double scoop of mocha fudge chunk. Sure, the magazine writer may have some issues aside from food, but she isn’t quite ready to face them. Then her beloved Uncle Benny falls ill, and what at first seems scary and daunting becomes a blessing in disguise. Because while she cooks and cares for him-and enjoys a delicious flirtation with a new chef in town-Eleanor begins to uncover some long-buried secrets about her emotionally frayed family and may finally get the chance to become the woman she’s always wanted to be.
Learn about Riding With The Queen from NAL Trade 2003
Take the long way home…
Full of big dreams of the fast life, Tallie Beck hit the road at the age of seventeen to become a rock ’n roll star—and vowed never to look back. Now, at thirty-four, she’s little more than a down-and-out singer who smokes and drinks too much and knows better than to make promises she can’t keep. Dumped by her latest band and low on cash, Tallie has no choice but to go back to Denver. Back to her crazy mother, and her resentful younger sister, Jane, who’s never forgiven her for leaving.
But seeing her family again after all these years stirs something unexpected in Tallie. And after so many miles on that long, exhilarating, scary—and often lonely—road, she’s looking back to trace some wrong turns, and figure out the way to where she really wants to go…
I asked Jennie three questions about our giveaway’s theme topic, self-expression:
1. Is self-expression an important part of your life today, why or why not?
Self expression has always been a big part of my life, in one way or another. I’ve written stories and poems since childhood, and drawn pictures. I’ve been a singer most of my life as well. There’s something about being able to express your “you-ness” that feels vitally human. Ants and rhinoceroses don’t necessarily seem to have this desire (that we know of), so there’s something that drives us to do it beyond survival. I’m going to guess it’s all about connection, in addition to self discovery.
2. What does self-expression mean to you and how do you do it in the world?
Obviously these days I publish novels, but I’ve written my entire life even when not publishing. I will say that being published brings an incredibly satisfying dimension to the experience. When I wrote my first novel, I didn’t know I would have readers beyond my friends and family, so when readers started to be in touch, telling me that my book had touched them in some way, had some impact on their thinking or emotions, I was astounded. And pleasantly so. My early life was hard, and I feel that I learned a lot very early on. It feels amazing to be able to tell stories that might help others understand what it means to survive and grow and thrive through hardships.
3. How does your self-expression impact the world—your family, your friends, your readers, and everyone else?
It’s been my mission to write honestly about difficult topics, things like mental illness and infidelity and death. These aren’t uncommon topics, of course; they affect most of us in some way. I want to infuse these experiences with raw and tender realism while providing hope for those of us going through them. I’ve written about things that I first had to ask my family if it was okay to write about, and they’ve always been one hundred percent supportive, encouraging me to write the tough stuff. I recently joined a group called Professionals Affected by Mental Illness, and we support each other in going out into the world to talk openly about mental illness in a real way, and in so doing, help to destigmatize it. It’s very much part of what I think I’ve been trying to do all along.
And Now, Your Turn…
You remember how this works right?
Please read the complete rules at least once!
I ask you a question.
You answer in the comments for your chance to win a book each day.
Please just respond once, even if you make a typo. 
Answer in the comments in 50-200 words (no less and no more to qualify to win one of today’s books).
Connection is something that can happen in surprising ways. What are some of your favorite ways to connect authentically with others via self-expression? In what ways does any of your self-expression lead to more and deeper connection(s) in your life?
Ready, set, comment! I will hold the drawing tomorrow and post the results here in my blog.
Thanks for participating in the Writer Mama Every-Day-In-May Book Giveaway!
And thanks for spreading the word. We will be giving away great books by wonderful women authors all month.
View the complete list of authors and books.
View the giveaway Pinterest board
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Though I am not a trained photographer (and admittedly seem to have patience only for the souped-up digital point and shoot cameras), I have been surprised by the connections that have resulted from the photos –and writing — on my blog. Not only has photography helped me creatively, I think it’s been a very liberating way of expressing myself and the way I view the world. I am continually amazed by the way readers have grown connected to the natural world — particularly my remote desert haven — that I love to photograph and share. The other benefits for me: connections to other creative, supportive people whom I’ve met online. Before I began blogging, the digital images simply sat in my iPhoto folder. I’m so pleased to share what I see and make those deeper connections.
When I started writing about my experiences as a mother, daughter, woman in the world today I was astounded at how many many people told me that I was expressing their experience as well. That connection made me feel that although we are each experiencing life in our own ways we are not alone in that experience, and that knowledge lifts our spirits. I get that feedback over and over now that I am blogging, and it is encouraging me to keep writing. Other forms of self expression in my life include knitting, quilting and cooking and there is an instant connection with others who do those things: when we meet we skip over all our differences and talk shop! I especially use cooking as a way to being people together. I live in Boston where lots of my friends’ children go to college and I often bring hungry college students around my kitchen table for home cooked meals. Some wonderful connections have been made that way,
Writing, of course, allows us to connect with others but I also find connection through piano playing. I played for years as a church pianist and worked with other musicians and found an easy connection with each other through music. I now sing in the adult choir at church and still connect with others through music in a different way.
I’ve always enjoyed connecting with others through volunteering. Although it may not appear to be self expression at first, I believe it is because you are giving your time, your energy, your creativity and yourself to a cause that’s important to helping others and important to your own heart and soul. I would hope my writing is a way to connect with others, but at this point I’m not sure if I’m making the connection. Right now it feels mainly like a form of self-expression for me. I think any self-expression, anytime you open yourself to others, to your art or whatever form you choose, you are opening yourself to deeper connections in your life. Whether those connections are with other people, your art or animals, nature, or yourself you are strengthening and growing those connections to your own benefit and to the benefit of others.
I started blogging in 2009 as a way to express myself and deal grief and new motherhood and healing. I wanted to part of a community I had found of other mothers who had shared the loss of a child. Through that, I’ve met some wonderful people both online and in real life who I have connected with in so many other ways. Circling back, one of them is a big supporter of me in my writing.
I work in Special Education in middle school. I am an amateur photographer and love to take pictures of my students when we go on our teaching field trips. I share the pictures with the students and parents. They love to look at the power point of all our trips. I also love to get really creative with my photography and my friends are always asking me to do a photo-shoot for fun. I connect with my friends in this way and also with my writing. I have a tendency to write poems for situations that my friends or family are going through. I think that this brings me closer to those I love. When my sister’s husband passed away at 47 from a massive heart attack I wrote her two poems..They are framed and sitting on her dresser. She told me that what I wrote in the poems was exactly how she felt but she would never have been able to express it in words. I think we are all blessed with our own form of self-expression in order to bless others.
I love creating handmade greeting cards – especially for my children. And they look forward to receiving them. We connect through the images and the words I express. But beyond my family I connect most authentically through essays and blog posts. Occasionally I’ll get an email from a reader sharing how I expressed something they’d experienced and they felt understood by reading my essay. Most often in my essays I make deeper connections to what’s going on in my life – sometimes those connections are to people, but often they serve to help me understand myself better.
I’ve discovered that a hand-written personal letter is a beautiful way to connect with others and express myself through writing. The art of the hand-written letter is largely lost these days, and we’ve replaced it with email, which is often so impersonal that we don’t bother addressing the person by name anywhere in the communication.
Sitting down and writing out a letter to someone we’d like to express ourselves to is a precious gift. It takes time and real effort. It’s personal. I’m often much more elegant when writing a communication by hand than I am when I am just jotting them a quick email message. The recipient gets a part of me when they receive my letter. You can’t make an electronic note communicate your heart like that, regardless of how careful we may be to sound sincere.
I have a collection of hand-written letters from my mother, and I feel her in them. It is a personal touch that in the very act of writing we leave traces of our spirit for our recipient to find.
As a dancer during my college years and beyond, I had many experiences where people would seek me out to tell me that my performance had touched them in some way. It was exhilarating to experience the highly charged moments on stage as a performer and know that communication and connection was happening with all members of the audience at once. Transformation can happen in those moments of shared presence.
The connection that is possible through writing is what I am currently seeking. I still love to dance even if only the trees are watching.
One of my favorite ways to connect with others through self-expression is to give home made gifts. Not only do I enjoy putting my creative energies into the gift-making process, I love the feeling of giving them away to others. Few things show someone how much you think of them like a home made gift, no matter how small. Cooking for other people is also a fun way to connect — especially when you invite people to share a meal. Gathering around a table filled with food and sharing wine and conversation are such a wonderful way of connecting through self-expression!
I really enjoy creating pottery and this is a great way to connect with others. I enjoy seeing what other people have created and how they use their pottery to identify themselves. I especially enjoy going to showcases where I can see all of my fellow potters work. I look forward to creating many more pieces and sharing them with others.
I love connecting with people through my figure skating. When I began performing and competing I would watch the skilled skaters and they’d take me on an emotional journey. I began to want to create that same feeling for my audience. I stopped worrying about making mistakes or my insecurities and tried to connect with my audience. At a competition last March I was giving my program my all and I saw a woman, smiling and drawn in. I felt instantly connected with her.
I like to write stories, poems, and blog posts. I probably blog the most out of those three now, and I love getting to connect with readers of my blog. I can’t kid myself: the people who read my blog the most are people who already know me personally. (Yeah, my family probably creates the most traffic.) But all the same, I’m able to express myself on my blog in ways that I don’t always feel comfortable expressing in person. Having that method of self-expression has deepened my relationships with many of my family members.
In another vein, I like to crochet and sew, on occasion. Mostly I choose to give the things I make as gifts. Those homemade gifts have connected me with the recipients in ways that surprise me sometimes. A little sweat, tears, and creativity into a gift seem to make it much more meaningful!
There is a split second moment that is magical to me. When I sing with my band at church and find someone’s eyes and give a smile and an emphasis on a phrase and I see that person light up or smile, I know I’ve had an impact. A pure connection and leaves my heart glowing. 🙂
Huh? Connect authentically? When is a connection considered unauthentic? Add the qualifier of connecting via self-expression, and I don’t have a clue how to answer the question. It reminds me of the sentence from the group MBA thesis my daughter
is working on: “This calculus often leads to timid action or inaction, the challenge for a would-be shaper is to rejigger
the calculus by diminishing perceived risks and maximizing perceived rewards.”
The second sentence is easy to answer. By expressing yourself, you’re letting others know how you feel or think. If those others feel or think the same way, they are more comfortable making a connection with you. So of course self-expression leads to more connections. As for how deep the connection is, it doesn’t depend on whether or not you expressing yourself, but on how much work you’re willing to put into developing and nurturing a connection.
I write my answer before I read the other posts. Apparently 14 people had no problem understanding the questions. So I guess it’s just my brain fizzled out after a very long, hard week. TGIF!
And thank you, Christina, for an amazing contest seven years running. Sorry to see it end.
I have a friend from college that I correspond with via snail mail. We both get creative with our letters and letter writing. We’ve been exchanging letters for 25 years now. When email came along we chose to stick to the more creative outlet of a true correspondence. Recently my friend, who is an artist, decided to blog about our correspondence including pictures of our creative envelopes, paper, and other goodies included in our exchange. Our staying in touch this way has helped us maintain a deeper connection over the years. It’s been fun too!
I don’t consider myself a great visual artist, but several years ago before everything went digital I created a few great scrapbooks that I still enjoy looking at. One of them was for my daughter’s first year of life, and the other one was for my husband’s 30th birthday. He was very touched that I had spent so much time working on the pages. I don’t have a lot of time to do it these days, and that’s sad.
I guess the other way I connect with others is through writing my profiles, feature articles and blog posts. Although I am a self-described introvert, there is something magical that happens to me when I sit down with an interview subject. I have forged so many deep connections with people I have interviewed for articles and it never ceases to amaze me. I think the act of pulling off a great interview is an act of self-expression in itself, and I love how it has enriched my life.
I like to connect to others by sharing experiences. Though most often I find myself connecting through others experiences and feelings. I like to utilize one persons experiences to learn and help another.
What seems like a far out goal for me is to write of my experience, usually negative, to reach others. I’d love to help develop understanding from others on experiences.
Definitely writing leads to many of my deeper connections with self and others. For me, that means how I connect to others, and how they respond to me. I also feel a super deep connection to those I teach and coach. Because I teach writing memoir and other personal stories, client and student conversations about writing, craft and publishing spill over into the most personal topics too. As a first reader of many memoirs, I am gifted often with stories and secrets that have never been shared with anyone else ever before. I am SO grateful to all who entrust me with the magic that is uniquely theirs.
My favorite way to connect is by being myself – a very scattered, often
impulsive, cock-eyed self – and discovering to my delight that it works
for someone else. I helplessly blurt an observation, and instead of
crickets, I get a smile, or a laugh, or an, “I hear you” look. I usually
can’t help but express myself verbally, but I have learned to interpret
the chilly silences as an invitation to let someone else speak. Now that
I’m getting serious about writing, I expect a certain number of
rejections… but those acknowledgments and connections are that much
more thrilling. What a joy it would be to have someone feel like my
experience or my view reached out and touched theirs. When I think of
the writing that has touched me, and how deeply it has affected and illuminated me, I can’t help but want to support someone else that same way.
Personal e-mails in which I and a friend share real life stuff has been a surprising way to connect with others. I enjoy letters, and e-mail is convenient and instant and on my time. When I share my struggles with friends near and far it gives them a chance to express themselves back to me either by relating to what I’m sharing in a personal or empathetic way. A timely e-mail connection has often been a lifesaver for me against loneliness and discouragement. When I know there is a friend out there who understands, sympathizes, or can give me some encouragement right away it makes my connection to that person stronger.
As much as I love technology and social networking sites, I’ve
found that the connections that social networking builds are weak. Social networks lead us to believe we have friendships and networks based on our friends list and connections. Real connection happens from spending quality time with one another. More one on one time with insightful conversations where you discover yourself through listening and engaging with others. Course distance can make one on one time more difficult, but my far away friends and I
make time on our calendars to phone each other.
Thanks to all for your thoughtful responses here. I’ve read them all and feel really inspired by you!