I can’t think of a mom I know who would not want to read Christa Melnyk Hines e-book, Confidently Connected, A Mom’s Guide To A Satisfying Social Life.

While I recognize that everyone has their own idea what “a satisfying social life” means to them, most women these days are dealing with more “shoulds” and “ought tos” than our mothers and grandmothers ever faced.

Modern life is complex. Opportunities for social interaction have exploded in the past decade. Women are busier than ever. We are also smart, educated, and individually unique. With the exception of etiquette experts, who are fully prepared to remind us what not to do, we moms don’t seem to have many resources helping us choose what to do, how to do it wisely, and when enough just might be enough.

And this is exactly where Christa’s book waltzes in with all of the sensitivity and  conscientiousness you would expect from a communications expert. This is not the kind of book you need to read a hundred times just to understand one obscure concept. This is the kind of e-book you read nodding all the way through because it’s so refreshing to know that someone has encountered the same challenges you have in everyday situations. After you finish Confidently Connected, you will walk away feeling empowered with solutions to challenges you may not have known were even bothering you!

And if this e-book is so effective that you become the most popular mom in town, you can always come back to it when you are feeling over-committed and pick up some pointers on how to cut back sensibly and respectfully. Introvert, extrovert, or a bit of both, I hope you will test-drive Confidently Connected by Christa Melnyk Hines. She’s launching her e-book today and she would love your feedback and participation.

Thanks for helping us spread the word! Please say hello to Christa!

I understand you have had some personal experience turning a situation where you felt disconnected into one where you felt connected. Can you tell us about that?

When I first left the work force to stay home with my newborn son, I was completely consumed with naps, feedings, changing diapers and trying to figure out if I was doing any of it “right.” I had no family nearby and my friends worked. It was frustrating not to be able to talk to someone who could relate to my typical day. Creating a social life seemed too overwhelming and difficult in the midst of new motherhood. As we settled into a comfortable routine, I began noticing what a clock-watcher I’d become. Is the mail here yet? How many more hours until Oprah? How much longer until my husband comes home? I was bored. I was lonely. And, I felt guilty and conflicted because I didn’t understand how on one hand I felt so unhappy and anxious, and on the other, I felt so besotted with my newborn.

I reached out to a friend in another city, and she suggested I join a moms’ group. Connecting with a group of mothers of young children made a huge difference in my self-confidence as a mother and my overall level of happiness. All of a sudden, I’d discovered a tribe that I could belong to and thrive in! With that renewed sense of connection, I had the energy to restart work on my master’s thesis and began to realize that as much as my life revolved around my son, I was a better mom if I gave myself permission to pursue my personal interests and goals, too.

What causes moms to feel disconnected in our society?

I believe depression plays a role in a mom’s sense of disconnection and vice-versa. Research suggests that stay-at-home moms are more prone to depression compared to working moms, perhaps due to a weak support system outside of the home. Nonetheless, whether you stay home or work, according to WomensHealth.gov, approximately 13% of pregnant and new moms suffer from depression. That statistic is probably larger since it doesn’t include the number of women who suffer in silence. People who are depressed are more likely to isolate themselves. And women who lack a healthy social support system are more at risk for depression.

If you are depressed, the prospect of connecting with others can be overwhelming. Disconnection can creep in over time (especially if you are depressed) or can happen all of a sudden, such as with a move to a new community away from a core support system of friends and/or extended family.

Obviously, a social network isn’t a cure for depression (you should consult with your physician if you think you might be depressed), but having a support system can help any mom feel more connected and happier.

What are the benefits of reading your e-book? What strategies will I be able to apply immediately if I’m feeling lonely and disconnected for whatever reasons?

For moms feeling stuck about how to revive and sustain a healthy social network, my e-book offers multiple paths out of isolation. For those who feel anxious or shy about how to strike up conversations with other moms, I include conversation ice-breakers and tips about body language awareness. I also break down different ways to connect both online and offline. Moms can pick and choose what works best for them according to their personality, their parenting philosophy and their interests. The e-book includes other moms’ experiences, which will help readers feel less alone and more empowered to reach out to others.

What about for moms who tend to be more introverted who are hesitant to reach out to others consistently?

In many ways, I consider myself an introvert. I recharge by hanging out quietly by myself, reading, writing or pursuing other interests. But I’ve found that I need to get out of my head, engage in lively discussions, laugh and commiserate with others to feel fully alive. We are a social species and even introverts need to connect, just in smaller doses than extroverts. To know that about yourself is empowering because then you can better understand the types of social groups that best match your personality. Look into groups that are smaller in size and not so intimidating or groups that offer small get-togethers, which can be easier to navigate. Your group may offer daily get-togethers, but be aware that too much interaction can drain your energy. Adjust your level of participation depending on what works best for your personality.

I know plenty of moms I might call hyper-connected. Will over-committed moms get something out of your e-book?

Yes! Even though engaging in new social circles and making new friends is fun, wishy-washy boundaries can cause many of us to feel like our social lives are spinning out of control. Confidently Connected will help you clarify your boundaries and give yourself permission to pare down when you’re being pulled in too many directions. You will learn how to honor your personal needs and your family’s needs when weighing the decision of whether or not an activity is worth the added stress.

With cliques and bullying and all kinds of social anxieties cropping up at our kids’ schools. How does following the advice in your e-book set a good example for my kids?

Our children watch our interactions carefully and model how we develop and sustain friendships. Barring a developmental or behavioral disorder, a child whose parents have isolated themselves may struggle more to initiate and sustain connections successfully compared to a child whose parents are more sociable. I think learning how to form and value friendships can make a huge difference in a child’s long-term happiness and self-confidence. In turn, understanding how to manage draining relationships and cliquish behavior (which I address in this e-book) is also an important skill for moms to model, especially as kids get older and peer relationships grow increasingly important.

Moms will find plenty of ways to connect virtually through online moms groups, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and mommy blogs. Deciding which social networks to join, designating boundaries and figuring out how to integrate yourself into the group can pose challenges. Either you’ve got conversations going on all over the place or you aren’t sure where to begin. My e-book provides tips about how to manage social networking and how to create boundaries in the online world.

This is not an e-book about marriage, but how might reading your e-book and following your advice improve my relationship with my significant other?

Although this isn’t a marriage advice book, Confidently Connected does address the importance of communicating our needs with our spouses. Resentment can easily build up in a marriage when we create expectations in our heads without communicating those expectations. You each have personal interests you want to pursue outside of the home. Negotiate time out of the week so that you can each participate in activities that you enjoy. When your nurture yourself and support each other’s interests, your marriage will grow stronger as a result.

Are there long-term benefits to reading your e-book?

While my e-book helps moms find ways to network and connect, long-term it also helps them see that our social circles are fluid. Over time, certain friendships may die off and that’s okay. We may find other relationships draining and want to seek an exit. So this e-book not only addresses the initiation of connections, it also provides information that helps moms move through social interactions in a way that’s healthy for them and works with their priorities.

Thank you, Christa!

Visit http://christamelnykhines.com/ to learn more about Confidently Connected and to meet Christa. Christa is a freelance journalist from Olathe, Kansas, located in the Kansas City metro area. She divides her time between her writing career and her busy family, which includes her husband, two active boys and a pair of playful mutts. Fascinated by the interplay of our everyday relationships, Christa frequently explores family dynamics and parenting issues from a communication perspective in her writing.

If you have a moment, it would be great if you could help Christa compile lists of movies about friendship and books about friendship. Thanks for reading!

Are you a mom, and you would love to take the Writing and Publishing the Short Stuff Class that starts March 6th, but you would not otherwise be able to afford it?

Then you qualify for The Writer Mama Scholarship!

The application process for the next available scholarship for Writing & Publishing The Short Stuff Class begins today! I am accepting applications until Sunday, February 10th at midnight.

One full scholarship is granted each time the class is held, five times per year. Please read this post completely and double-check your application before submitting. The recipient will be announced on Monday, February 11th in this blog.

Please feel free to spread the word about the scholarship, even if you do not intend to apply. This is a full scholarship. The recipient commits to participating fully in the class and delivering all six assignments on time.

Please do not apply if you cannot make the commitment to participate in the class, which involves reading the weekly workbook, completing your assignments, and learning from your classmates work. (To learn about what you will get out of the class, please read the full class description.)

No additional time or special coaching is offered with the scholarship. It’s up to the scholarship recipient to make the most of the class.

Please note that this is a scholarship, not a giveaway. This scholarship is only for moms and is offered by class instructor, Christina Katz (that’s me).

One scholarship is available per WPSS class. The scholarship is not transferable if you fail to complete the class. The scholarship is also not transferable in the case of illness, family emergencies, a move, etc. If you have already paid for the class, you do not qualify for the scholarship. If you have already taken the class, you also do not qualify.

What is written in your application is private and your personal information will never be shared or sold beyond announcing the name of the recipient. The only way to qualify is to apply each time. No one else will view your application.

The application questions are below. Copy and paste them into a Microsoft Word document (to take the class you must be able to create and read Microsoft Word documents—no exceptions). Attach your application as a Word doc to your e-mail. Please answer each question concisely and completely.

Send your application to: “christina at christinakatz dot com” – this the only email address for the scholarship. If you do not receive the scholarship, save your application for future scholarships and re-apply. Always add in your most current publication credits, since they are important. Put “WPSS Scholarship Application” in the subject line.

The scholarship recipient will be chosen based on the following criteria: demonstrated effort, need, and enthusiasm. The most important consideration is demonstrated past effort, so please don’t skimp on details of your past writing efforts. Applications accepted from U.S. residents only at this time.

Please Note: The Writer Mama Scholarship is only for moms who legitimately cannot afford class tuition for whatever reason. So if you work at home, earn money, receive money, or your spouse or partner earns enough money for you to afford the class, please expect to regular pay price. My classes are kept affordable, specifically so moms can take them!

To register for the class as a non-scholarship candidate, please visit the registration page. Space in the class is limited.

Here’s the application:

[Copy and paste the following application form into a Word doc:]

Name

Address

Email

Phone

Have you read the book, Writer Mama? How about my other books?

How long have you been reading my blog(s)?

What version of Microsoft Word software are you currently using?

Have you applied for The Writer Mama Scholarship before?

Write a short response to each of the following questions:

Please write one short paragraph about why you want to take the class, Writing and Publishing the Short Stuff.

Please list by publication name and date only, any publication credits you’ve accumulated thus far. Briefly list any other experience you think is relevant.

Please briefly state why you are unable to afford the tuition for the class at this time.

[End application.]

Thanks for applying for The Writer Mama Scholarship!

Something cool happened in January 2013.

A regional parenting magazine came out and every single one of the articles by a freelance writer was written by mom writers I trained. Every single writer had taken my Writing & Publishing The Short Stuff (Especially for Moms) class.

I was pretty blown away when I saw this. I kept flipping through the publication to double check.

Yep, the rest of the content was not freelancer written. All of the freelance content was written by one of my freelance writer mom students—almost all students I am currently coaching.

I am going to frame the issue and hang it on the wall of my office, with some of my other work, not because I wrote any of the articles, but because I was a positive influence on these writers and I played a small part in their publishing success. Being a positive influence and always acting professionally is as much a part of what I do for a living as my own writing.

I have seen more than a dozen of my students’ articles appear in regional parenting magazines before, sometimes accompanied by an article or two by me. And this is always a big thrill. But what really makes me proud is when the articles by my students stand out. They usually do and often, they totally rock!

When I am impressed by the quality of writing of students I have trained, I feel psyched. But it makes sense, I guess, because one of the lessons I have tried to pass on to the writers I have worked with over the years is that quality writing is the top priority.

Writing for regional parenting magazines Is fun, rewarding & builds core freelance writing skills. Writing for regional parenting magazines is how I got my start freelance writing and it’s still an important skill that I teach mom writers who take my writing classes today.

You may remember if you are a fan that my book, Writer Mama, How To Raise A Writing Career Alongside Your Kids (Writer’s Digest Books 2007) is divided into four sections:

1. Preparation
2. Practice
3. Professionalism
4. Poise

I love when I can see all four of these qualities shining through in published articles by my former students. I have also noticed that the strong writing skills students learn in my writing classes carry over into other important arenas of a their writing careers.

I see the four qualities in their blog posts, in their newsletters, in their websites, in the way they behave on social media, and in their e-books and books. In their writing, my students are: Clean. Clear. Crisp. Professional. Helpful. Insightful. Thoughtful. Thorough. And generous.

I’m proud of them. And I’m proud of myself for teaching them to keep their eye on the prize: quality writing. Because quality writing speaks for itself.

I have been writing for regional parenting magazines since 2000–yikes, the turn of the last century!–and I still love it today as much today as I did back then. I know that my enthusiasm for writing for regional parenting magazines is contagious, and so is my love for producing quality writing. I hope you catch the bug too.

If you want to hear more about the power of quality writing and how it can solidly center and anchor your writing career, check out Writer Mama and The Writer’s Workout. LINK

They contain the same key lessons that I put into my classes and my coaching because they were both inspired by what I have learned teaching writers for the past twelve years.

I bet you can’t read either of them without wanting to write!

I bet you can’t read either of them without wanting to be the best writer you can be.

And that’s my job: helping writers become the best writers they can be in this crazy gig economy we are living in. Feel free to join in the fun. You’ll not only become a better writer, you will learn a ton about yourself, what you value, and how your creative process works.

Published authors I train have all of these qualities and, quite simply, the sum of these qualities is how they succeed. These qualities also explain why they succeed.

It’s not enough to have a good idea. It’s not enough to have spent a lot of money on your education. There is still so much a writer must learn and do to succeed in the long run in publishing.

Entrepreneurial types might be born with some or most of these skills, but writers…not so much.

Despite a proliferation of Internet and guru advice, I still find a good writer with all these skills to be pretty rare to find.

If you are a writer and you want to be an author, and you don’t have these abilities, then get your cookies in gear and them.

I’m going to lay it out for you, pretty plain and simple.

You’ve either got these, or you need to work on them. Here we go:

28 Things You Must Have To Succeed In Publishing (Traditional & Self) In The Long Haul:

1. Determination: Another word for ambition
2. Chutzpah: Another word for resiliency
3. Curiosity: Endless
4. Personal experience: An interest in and attention to your own thoughts
5. Writing experience: Professional quality
6. Integrity: Good karma
7. Can-do Attitude: One that just won’t quit
8. Good energy: And a desire to share it
9. Business mindset: An awareness of the basics
10. Genuine desire to help: If you don’t care about others, quit now
11. Money: You’ll need some, but not a ton
12. Intelligent boundaries: You’ll learn the hard way if you don’t have them
13. Organizational skills: Some, even if you are very right-brained
14. Leadership skills: Authorhood is political, don’t kid yourself otherwise
15. Research skills: So you can make smart choices
16. Willingness to delegate: You’re going to have to
17. Individuality: Way better than shallow cronyism
18. Self-esteem: A desire for excellence for the sake of excellence
19. Tolerance for repetition: Hope you like it!
20. Niche-focus: Your little corner of the world
21. Platform development: A place you call home on the Web
22. Awareness of the larger marketplace: And your place in it
23. Service to an audience: Make that consistent service
24. Depth and breadth of content evolution: If you want to stick around
25. Efficient Web Design: Keep ‘em clicking!
26. Responsiveness to challenges: There will be many
27. Media exposure: Reach out to those who cover your beat
28. Google-able: A little SEO won’t kill you

• • •

The Writer’s Workout, 366 Tips, Tasks & Techniques From Your Writing Career Coach is written by Christina Katz for Writer’s Digest Books. For sale everywhere quality books are sold, including: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s, IndieBound and Writer’s Digest. Listen to the introduction. Download an excerpt from Scribd. Get motivated by The Writer’s Workout Motivational Poster. Let’s write the future…together.

Today is the last day to sign up for the next round of the 21 Moments Monthly Writing Challenge.

Folks have asked if they can sign up for a round later and the answer is, yes, of course! I love giving you creative writing prompts.

My greatest goal for 2013 is to create a world full of more productive writers. And I’m pleased to report that the challenge is delivering on its mission.

So, why not join us and flex your writing muscles? I’ve already gotten an essay published that I wrote and submitted during round one.

I’ve rounded up some of the comments here for you but please do not hesitate to contact me with questions either here, on Facebook or via e-mail at christina at christina katz dot com.

Christina has always affirmed her belief in mastering small forms of writing before taking on bigger projects. 21 Moments is a great place to start, given the smaller word-count and the emphasis on writing every day. Not only can you produce your work piece by piece, but the format also helps you stick to a regular rhythm for long-term success. This exercise helped me formulate pieces of a rough draft for a novel that I have been trying to get together for over a year now!  ~ Kristeen M.

Writing one moment each day required focus, the one element I lack most. This course challenged me and the first few writings were rough. When I finally wrote one solid moment with no rambling, I learned how to reign in my wandering mind. I enjoyed opening my email each morning. Now that the challenge is over, my inbox feels empty. However, I’ve gained focus and consistency and am applying it each day. I pull a book off my shelf, read a page and write…one moment. Just one. ~ Diane J.

Having a whole twenty-one days to write has really lit my fire to keep writing. I give this class a twenty-one writer salute. ~ Annette S.

You are making me want to go back and reread all these classics!  ~ Kandace C.

Christina, I just want to thank you for offering the “moments.” The daily prompts helped me to begin to regain my focus and play with different genres. ~ Judy S.

A daily writing prompt delivered to your in box takes the work out of searching for inspiration, yet provides a gentle push to flex your writing muscles every day. Like the best personal trainer, Christina mixes up the genres for the prompts, so your writing muscles do not plateau. ~ Sue L.

21 Moments is a great motivator to get started and to keep going. This is a great tool to break out of a writing slump. ~ Leigh B.

These prompts are great!  You have the uncanny knack of selecting poems and stories that are some of my favorites. ~ Shirley J.

Christina’s 21 Moments Challenge provided the inspiration and know how exhibited in thoughtfully chosen examples to get me writing in ways I didn’t think were possible for me. Each day of the challenge provided an example of how it’s done. It was up to me to accept the challenge and get it done to the best of my ability. ~ Diane T-M

Ready to challenge yourself to 21 days of writing just one moment a day?

Register and join us for the challenge that begins February 1st.

Registrations in February will apply to the March challenge. Register any time during the month to begin the first day of the following month.

Hope you can join us!

January has been an amazing month for me in terms of personal satisfaction. I always push myself to innovate something new each year, even if it’s just adding one new class to my teaching repertoire. Several years ago, I launched my writing training groups for mom writers and they have been incredibly inspiring and rewarding. And then this month, I added my new 21-day monthly writing challenges to my schedule. We have almost completed round one and we are about to launch another round and a round two. So now I have writing training for moms and writing training for any kind of writer.

So here it is only February and I’ve already innovated not just one, but two new things in 2013. This feels really good and it’s part of a promise I made to myself to preserve my energy so that I could be more creative, healthy and personally satisfied in 2013.

But just because I am starting new things doesn’t mean I don’t value the things I’ve been doing for years. I have been teaching my mom writers class, Writing & Publishing The Short Stuff (Especially For Moms) for six years straight. That comes to 4-5 rounds of classes a year for the past six years or about 24+ classes of eager mom writers. That’s a lot of work I’ve invested—a lot of getting to know women writers through their writing and a lot of responding to questions and reviewing work.

Collectively we have created a staggering amount of published work. Today, many of my mom writer students go on to participate in the WPSS Dream Team, my mom writer training program, where they work even more closely with me, applying what they just learned in the class to real-life professional situations. A lot of learning takes place in my WPSS class for mom writers, but a lot more learning begins to take place when students start to apply what they have learned in a training program like Dream Teams. It’s always pretty awesome when you have the privilege of witnessing the successes of people you just taught.

I still enjoy working with mom writers just once in any of my classes, but what I’ve really come to value over the years are the writing students who work with me over time. Whether in continued classes or a back-and-forth between classes and training groups, it’s personally enriching, when you pour as much positive energy into your work as I do, to have people work hard and treat you respectfully, especially while you are constantly pushing and prodding them to be work harder and realize more of their potential.

Some days when I get some good news from a mom I’ve worked with, which is most days at this point, I burst into tears. It’s not because I am taking credit for their hard work; it’s because I am so proud of them and so proud myself. I could have quit teaching these classes at any time. But I didn’t, because teaching mom writers is important work. And training mom writers over time is hard work, but I love it. I’m so proud when they find the focus and determination to succeed in achieving a goal that is meaningful to them. And PS this means that they learn they can do set and achieve goals in any arena.

I also feel proud that I found the focus and determination to coach my students on a path that leads to daily opportunities for personal empowerment and self-expression. It has taken an enormous amount of work to develop and launch quality classes that effectively build professional skills in writers. I have been doing it formally and consistently since 2001, and I am so glad I’ve stuck with it, no matter what.

And maybe the best part of it all is that I can look out my office window, not the one next to my desk, but the one that connects me to the whole world, and I can see the results of my hard work paying off for my past students all over the Internet in published works, professional quality websites, book deals, self-published e-books, happy editors, and eager readers. That’s when I know I have the best job. Because I don’t just throw information at people. I genuinely care about and monitor the results of my efforts and continually strive to improve.

I have also offered a writer mama scholarship for every WPSS class since January 2008. Caring about mom writers is my legacy and I’ve sustained it over many years. That’s not luck: that’s hours and days and months and years of consistent effort working with students. I’m proud of my work and I’m proud of my mom writer students. And I look forward to working with them for many years to come.

Thank you, ladies, for working with me, for trusting me, and for sharing your journeys with me. I appreciate how hard you work, what you are up against, and how bumpy career growth can often be. Clip by clip. Pitch by pitch. Book by book. We just stay the course. So look out world, because here we come!

Anyone can write well if they apply themselves diligently to the process of writing. The only thing that separates quality writing from junk is whether or not you spend time working your writing muscles today. If you don’t work your muscles, you will likely not become a better writer today. But if you work your writing muscles every day in a focused manner, you likely will become a better writer. It’s that simple.

Whether you are coming back for round two of 21 Moments or you are brand new to the experience and eager to try it for the first time, you won’t be disappointed with the uptick in your writing productivity.

This is not your typical daily writing prompt. The 21 Moments Monthly Writing Challenge is created to echo the learning process that some of the greatest writers of all time have used to master their craft.

And now the 21 Moments Monthly Writing Challenge comes with more writing instruction, including examples of moments and how to find and write your moments all month long.

The 21 Moments Monthly Writing Challenge launches each month on the first day of the month at midnight. Hope you can join us for the next round, which starts Friday, February 1st.

Here’s 21 reasons you may wish to join in the fun:

1. Because you signed up for round one enjoyed it and now you want to try round two (by invite only).

2. Because you heard from a friend who tried writing 21 Moments and liked it.

3. Because you always wanted to take a class with me, but you couldn’t afford to take a six-week class.

4. Because you journal and writing a moment a day will focus your journaling.

5. Because you want to buy yourself a Valentine’s Day present.

6. Because you miss the prompts since they stopped on January 21st and you are eager for a new batch to begin again.

7. Because you want to sign up with a friend.

8. Because you don’t need a ton of structure, you just need a enough structure and encouragement to keep working on writing better every day.

9. Because you are feeling kind of bored with your own writing.

10. Because you want to write long works but you are not yet writing short.

11. Because January was not a good time for you but you can find a few minutes a day in February to write.

12. Because your year got off to a good start in January and you want to keep going.

13. Because you have an idea for a longer work and you are ready to start drafting.

14. Because you write nonfiction, fiction, poetry, or scripts or all of the above.

15. Because a moment is a great starting point for writing anything.

16. Because you enjoy being inspired by quality writing.

17. Because one well-written moment can lead a writer to more strong writing.

18. Because writing moments is like flexing your writing muscles. It’s a great warm-up for the rest of your day.

19. If you won’t spend your day writing, but wish you did, writing a moment a day can give you the satisfaction of having already written today.

20. Because you are working on a big project and you either don’t know where to start or you frequently lose your way.

21. Because writing one moment is a great way to ground and center yourself as a writer. Because writing isn’t like anything else.

Being a professional writer means always creating new building blocks of written material. So spend at least part of your day like a working writer. Write today. And if you need help, check out the 21 Moments Monthly Writing Challenge. Hope you can try it!

I have noticed that up-and-coming writers often make the mistake of thinking that the best things in their career are either free or close to free.

The problem with attitude is that it sets you up to overlook the very tools that lead to expanded success.

The tools that are free or almost free often don’t come with the same peace of mind and flexibility as tools that you pay for.

I started using Constant Contact many years ago because I was growing an e-mail newsletter list and, at the time, they were pretty much the only game in town.

There were some other services around back then but the quality differential was dramatic. Over the years, other companies have emerged that have provided similar services, but I’ve stayed with Constant Contact even though my monthly fee for using the service has gone up, not down.

Why do I use and stay with Constant Contact?

I have had a newsletter for many years. Constant Contact has been my primary way of communicating with and keeping in touch with readers. I completely trust Constant Contact with all of my precious subscriber information.

Constant Contact has steadily improved their services. They offer a wide variety of templates and even the potential to customize your template if you like.

When customer service is good and the quality of the experience is high the partnership becomes frictionless. Constant Contact has been a boon to my writing business and has helped me keep in touch with fans and expand my services.

I have never had a desire to seek the same services elsewhere and I cheerfully pay my Constant Contact bill each month. For me, working with them is as much a part of being in business as paying my taxes or blogging. I can’t imagine where I would be without their excellent tools.

If you are a writing professional and you need to keep in regular contact with any group of people or, even better, with multiple groups of people, I highly recommend Constant Contact.

Creating and keeping up with your e-mail lists is a crucial part of career ownership. Historically writers have had trouble remembering that we are responsible for our own success over time. Once you start using Constant Contact, you will never again forget who is responsible for your writing career. It’s the person sitting behind the Constant Contact control panel. It’s you.

If you would like a free trial, you can click on the badge below and you will get 60 days worth of free service and I will get a $30 credit. I don’t usually crow about the day-to-day services I use, but it recently came to my attention that writers, who are growing a career, need to hear how important it is to keep in touch with your readers and nurture your relationships with various groups. Constant Contact makes this process a whole lot easier and more enjoyable for writers.

Okay, I lied. You actually can’t turn off your monkey mind.

At least, it’s not as easy as flipping a switch.

But what you can do is get in the habit of challenging your monkey mind.

Your obnoxious monkey thinks he’s pretty smart, but he really isn’t. He likes to sit back and judge you. And according to him, in case you hadn’t noticed, you will never measure up. There he goes, shaking his head at you and clucking his tongue.

Monkey mind thrives on your fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, and self-doubt. And everything he says and does will trigger these things in you.

So you could be having a perfectly good day until monkey mind comes along and poops on it with his evil jaded ways.

Monkey mind is mean. He’s a Nazi-perfectionist. He’s the king of the sarcastic eye-roll.

Most things he says sounds like, “So how did you royally screw up this time?”

Don’t let him get away with it. Challenge him. Talk back. When he gives you crap, tell he him he doesn’t know everything. Maybe he doesn’t know anything.

Maybe he is just a roiling cauldron of internalized negative voices that have become much more vicious than the original voices ever were.

In that case, it’s your job to tell him that your job is holding up your end of any commitment and then letting go of the results and moving on to the next thing on your to-do list. And that’s it. So go jump off a cliff, you mean ol’ monkey.

Tell him that he over-reacts about everything. Tell him, you are not a hyper-sensitive ego-maniac like him. Tell him, you are aware that everything in the world is not all about you, and that is why you don’t totally lose your squash if you are not perfect in every moment.

You will have seemingly perfect moments in life. At least I hope you will. These are moments where all seems right with the world. Like everything, including you, is in perfect harmony. These moments are awesome. And fleeting.

So tell that damn monkey, he can think you are superhuman if he wants, but remind him that you are not. Remind him that you are merely human, just like everyone else and if he doesn’t like it, he can suck it.

In fact, the best thing you can do to immediately wrestle your monkey mind to the ground and pin him there until he says uncle is remember that you play a role in the world—one role. Not THE role, just a role like everyone else.

Monkey mind is very black and white. You are either the best ever or you are the worst ever. There is no playing one role to him.

Don’t fall for it. You are fine. When you mess up, you can own it and move on. The world will not spin or stop based on how perfect you are.

You can be a hot mess and the world will just turn, turn, turn.

The truth is that you are fundamentally okay and madly imperfect like the rest of us, and we like you this way. The rest of us are not expecting perfection from you, whereas monkey mind will NEVER let you off the hook.

So the heck with that monkey. What does he know, anyway? Who put him in charge?

You did. You put him in charge. And you can fire him, too.

So tell the monkey to take a hike and get back to the single next thing you need to do, which is likely full immersion in one task at a time until a larger job is done.

~ photo by JamesCalder